Funerals & Food

Food has often played a significant role in funerals and services associated around death. In modern Australia the choice of food venue and drinks plays a vital role in funeral planning for many. Whilst our more secular society may be gravitating to alternate funeral venues, traditionalist also consider refreshments to be an important part of the funeral ritual.

Many church funerals often concluded with tea and coffee in the church hall  following the formal proceedings of the funeral. Often supplied by the church ladies whom may have also made all their own cakes and sandwiches. These events we seen to be an important part of extended family get togethers, where family and friend who had not seen each other for many years had the opportunity to reconnect. Many families would alternatively choose to have these events at the family home.

As homes have gotten smaller and our society drifts away from church, the funeral home had began to replace the church setting and indeed some funeral homes not only have their own commercial kitchens  but supply fully licensed services.

Possibly the biggest change has been in many of the larger cemetery/crematoriums building purpose built refreshment rooms and commercial kitchens. Southern Metroplitan Cemetry Trust (SMCT), which operates Springvale and Bunurong Cemeteries has possibly the most expansive catering set up. With thousands of meal portions served each day, families are clearly welcoming the concept.

Springvale Botanical Cemetery - Function Rooms
Springvale Botanical Cemetery – Function Rooms

In Melbournes restaurant, cafe style culture everyone is a critic in this highly competitive food market and SMCT clearly tick all the right boxes in both quality of their offering in both food and facilities. With Asian, Greek, Italian, Sri Lankan, Vegan, Gluten Free themed options families are able to tailor events to set their requirements. From as little as 20 mourners to 100s in attendance these rooms are proving very popular.

Outside of the funeral environment, other venues have identified new markets and clients are relating many of these venues are offering extremely cost effective alternative to the traditional funeral environments of funeral homes, cemeteries and churches.

From Bowls and Golf clubs to Yacht Clubs, Wineries and gardens, restaurants and function centres, many of these venues now offer, funerals (yes with coffin present) and refreshments options. The prestigious Sandringham Yacht Club, located on the edge of Port Phillip Bay has become the venue of choice for those who have a nautical bent or just love the water. With Food and beverage packages to suit, the venue provides the ideal alternative to traditional establishments.

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Sandringham Yacht Club – Funerals By The Bay

Although many of us love to eat food, some cultures incorporate food into the ceremonial aspects of the funeral. Hindu and buddhist families have food offerings on their alters during the service. After the funerals some cultures will have light refreshments at the graveside, where highly potent home liquor and food may be offered to guests immediately after which families will return home for a much larger feast.

Yet what does the future hold? With Uber eats a new phenomena, will this be the way forward. Perhaps it is no surprise then that SMCT will shortly be offering take home food options for families from their kitchens. SMCT says ” We understand that self care may not always be top of mind for visitors who have recently experienced the loss of a loved one. Our take home meals have been created to help provide support and care to our community during this time.”

Oh, and don’t forget while you are devouring that gorgeous pie and your next funeral, take time to remember why you are there.

To get information on funeral venues and funeral options contact Robert Nelson Funerals ph (03) 9532 2111

An Hour On The Day…. Hardly!

The funeral was only 20 minutes away from commencing and my new colleague turned to me and asks, “are you nervous, because I am”. I turned to her and said, “no,  I’m OK”, I lied.

I met Fred’s  (not his real name) family almost a week before, he was terminally ill and had a young family. Fred was in his last days of life. His family had somewhat come to terms with this and were quietly calm in talking about him. Naturally at times they would need time to compose themselves as they were coming to grips with the finality of  his life.

We spoke about what type of funeral service Fred and his family might like and his preference for burial or cremation. We discussed funeral venues and styles of services. I was beginning to get a picture of what the family wanted to do. There would be quite a lot of family traveling from interstate and some from overseas. We left fairly open the choices and would finalise the details when Fred died. But, given Fred’s long illness, the family were keen to ensure the funeral was held quite quickly.

Fred died two days later.

Robert nelson Funerals
Robert Nelson Funerals

All of a sudden there was a greater sense of urgency by Freds family in organising the funeral. We took Freds body into our care and organised all of the appropriate certificates from his attending doctor.  A suitable celebrant was selected that we felt would bond well with his family, Coffins, flowers, service time and date for the funeral were all set. There was to be refreshments and catering including an open bar at the venue. The hour glass was now turned and we were on a fixed time to have everything in place for that “hour on the day”.

Over the next few days there would be dozens of communications , in person, by phone and email conveying all the necessary information to ensure everything went to plan.

Remember how I started this piece, when asked if I was nervous just before the funeral, well, its about this time when I am the most nervous, knowing we have a great deal to achieve and with a limit on the time to do it. There is a golden rule, Plan, Plan, Plan, Plan and then expect things to go wrong and plan for that too. Everything needs a back up plan, so we can expect the unexpected and deal with it even at the last minute.

Behind the scenes, Freds body needs to be prepared and dressed as the family wants to see him the night before the funeral. The coffin has been ordered and delivered and we now have Freds clothing, preparation will take 1-2hrs by skilled qualified staff. The Government Medical officer had visited our mortuary at 2am the night before to finalise cremation documentation. It’s all go, go ,go.

Our in house Audio visual specialist is busy preparing video tributes for the service and the wake following. with over 125 images and 16 tracks of music for the service and wake there were many hours of work into the night ahead. the service would also be video recorded , so there was a stack of gear we would also be taking along. This is also unpacked, checked and repacked to go.

Audio Visual
Audio Visual

As we neared the day of the funeral, numbers still had to be finalised for the wake at the venue. What had started out as 60 people had now grown to 125. It’s impossible to guess the actual number of people that will attend, but there is always sufficient food to cover another 50 or more. People don’t generally come for lunch.

By this time our celebrant had met with the family and formed an order for the service now only 48 hours away. She would be in regular contact with them over the following days. The sand in that hour glass was running low.

The family hadn’t yet organised the printed order of service  and there was still a potential that we may have to do it at the last moment. Remember Plan and plan for the unexpected.

The family arrived the night before the funeral to see Fred, they were no doubt very sad, but pleased they could say their last goodbyes. They advised the order of service was in hand and all would be ready by tomorrow.

The following morning flowers arrived at 4.30am and we arrived at 6am to get the vehicles prepared for the 2pm service. To my aghast, the flowers weren’t quite right. A quick call to our florist and a pick up from the local wholesaler and we were back on track.

Coffin Flowers
Flowers by Gradiflora

All of the audio visual had been triple checked the night before, but a laptop was left running and you guessed it was doing a new software install. Now, really! Sure enough it  loaded on time and we were now back on track, but now almost no sand left in our hour glass.

With all the gear packed and the hearse carrying Fred all clean and shiny, it was time to head off to the venue, some two hours before the start of the funeral. There was much to set up. On arrival, gear unloaded, set up , venue staff briefed and one hour left before service time, there is now no time to be nervous, we have planned, tested, planned, tested everything.

There were hundreds turn up to Freds funeral. The family loved everything, as much as you can at a funeral. At the conclusion of the service, family and friends stayed behind to chat and have refreshments. we still had Fred to deliver to the crematorium. I would later return to ensure everything was still going well. At 5pm many of the mourners had now left the venue, yet there were still many interstate friends and relatives. A few quick discussions with the venue team and I had another room within the venue sorted and the wake would continue on for many hours to come.

Springvale Botanical Cemetery - Function Rooms
Springvale Botanical Cemetery – Function Rooms

I arrived home, about 8pm a little tired and with a slight smile, maybe of relief that everything had gone to plan and the family happy with our services.

Was it a hectic week for us, possibly, but what I didn’t tell you is we also dealt with a number of other families at the same time. It matters not to them, that we have other families or clients, everyone is special and everyone deserves to treated like they are the only person we are dealing with.

Next time you see us for that hour on the day, remember our day may have started days ago.

Robert Nelson is a 5th generation Funeral Director. His company Robert Nelson Funerals is based in Moorabbin, Victoria, Australia. He provides Meaningful, Affordable Funerals across Melbourne and the Mornington Peninsula.

 

Enviro Funerals Do They Exist

As with nearly everything these days, people across the world are becoming environmentally aware. Funerals are no different. With the increasing number of funeral homes that are now offering environmental options we thought it was a good idea to look more closely as to what environmental options are available and take a closer look at just how environmental they might actually be and let you make your own mind up.

Burial v Cremation

Cremation into the future

DSC_7142

Throughout the world there has been increased interest about Alkaline Hydrolysis, a safe and eco friendly alternative to flame cremation or burial. Alkaline Hydrolysis uses water instead of fire. With claims of 90% less energy used than flame cremation and 0% emissions of harmful greenhouse gases. On the surface, this process looks like it could be a great environmental alternative to conventional cremation. Yet, with Alkaline Hydrolysis taking  approximately two days, against flame cremation  taking only a few hours, there may still be some way to go in this area before its taken up as a total viable alternative.

Cremation is the preferred option in Victoria where more people in suburban areas choose cremation as distinct from burial. It should be noted that burial in Victoria is for perpetuity, meaning that the burial has no ending and the grave will be there forever. (in other states and countries throughout the world, burial is limited in tenure, where graves will be reused). Regular maintenance is required for each grave including lawn graves. With over 560 cemeteries in Victoria alone (National Competition Policy review of The Cemeteries Act 1958 Victoria), there is considerable maintenance required. Many of these cemeteries are now closed (full). It should be noted that a component of cremation fees subsides the ongoing maintenance cost of cemeteries.

Calvary Cemetery

So I guess in considering the environmental impact  of burial, ongoing maintenance should be taken into consideration.

Cardboard v Timber Coffins or caskets

As funeral directors, we are constantly asked why don’t we use cardboard coffins?

Cardboard coffins are available. There is little difference in cost between cardboard and particle board and some funeral directors complain about the structural integrity of the cardboard coffins, when exposed to either moisture or refrigeration. Some crematoria have made comment that more fuel is required in the cremation process when using cardboard, where as a timber coffin aids in the cremation process.

Perhaps an alternative is the wicker coffin.

Willow Casket

Hand woven, using renewable materials. These types of coffins are now readily available in Australia, albeit are imported from overseas.

Fittings

Most coffins caskets have combustible (plastic) fittings, including, handles, name plates and crucifix. Some coffins still have metal fixtures. funeral directors have often been accused of reusing coffins and fittings, however in a highly regulated state likes ours (Victoria, Australia) it is simply not possible. However, most of our crematoriums here do actually remove the fixtures, not for reuse, but for environmental purposes. The fixtures are repurposed, but not reused. Interesting only the other day client asked me why they can’t be reused?

Vehicles and fuel efficiency

Most funeral vehicles are still petrol or diesel and to my knowledge no-one has yet moved to an environmental alternative.

Embalming and Body Preparation

There has been much written and said about the copious amounts of chemicals funeral directors use. Whilst it may make a great story, there is little evidence to support it. Basic body preparation requires little to no chemicals. The types of chemical used in basic preparation may equate to disinfection of the equipment. These chemicals are similar to what can be found in any household.

Full embalming does however use some speciality product, but the quantity is small. The types of chemicals varies considerably and more embalming fluid manufactures are taking into account OH&S and the environment  in developing new products.

In Australia few companies embalm every body.  Those companies that do embalm, do so for a reason, so before running out and deciding you don’t need embalming, talk to your funeral director first. The total amount of embalming fluid used is probably not that significant. Presently there is no other alternatives to embalming.

Handsome mature surgeon in blue medical wear and mask is putting on medical gloves at operating room
In The Prep Room

The Final Word

So, where does that leave the funeral industry and those that are wanting an environmental alternatives?

Confused?

At this stage, you will probably have to make your own mind up about what you think is the best choices, but just be aware, that because a funeral service is marketed as “Environmental” doesn’t necessary mean it is.

 

 

 

Leave It To The Funeral Director

When we were working through the town planning process for our new funeral home, I was expressing my frustration to our planner over the lack of understanding from some of the council regulators. My planner said this, “Robert, your industry is so unique that in a planners entire work life, they may never be involved in the planning process for a funeral home and so therefore how could they begin to know”.

It got me to thinking of all the people we deal with and how many may have the same lack of understanding about what we do.

Often some of my acquaintances will yell out in semi humorous way and with a wry smile ” hey, have you buried many lately”. I politely smile in return. Yet, when we look at this statement, in our State, Victoria, the greater percentage of people are cremated rather than buried with figures nearing 60% or more in some areas. So the statistical chances of me conducting a  burial may only be four out every ten deaths. Maybe the correct question should be,”have I done many cremations lately?”

But, these wry questions and answers underpin the fundamental lack of understanding of what it is that funeral directors actually do.

Put at its simplest there are two main functions funeral director performs.

  1. Practical Functions
  2. Administrative functions

Practical functions the funeral director may perform include collection of the body, storage and preparation of the deceased, casketing, duties on the day of the funeral and any other associated events. Many people think this is all the funeral does.

Senior people casual greeting shaking hands
Expierence, Knowledge & Understanding key elements  required in selecting a Funeral Director

Administratively there are equally as many tasks, organising cemeteries, crematorium, doctors, Celebrants, music, flowers, Audio visual, printed materials, registration documentation and all the associated forms that go with each pratcial function and then keeping everyone informed

Yet, whilst these tasks can be rambled off in a paragraph or two many of these function, individually can take many hours to perform and some require extensive training. The role of the professional funeral director is to keep all the functions moving along and synced to ensure the funeral and associated services go off without a hitch often all within the space of a few days.

While from time to time some families wish to be involved in some of the technical aspects of the funeral some parts are best left to the funeral director.  I recall a funeral where a particular family member wanted to be in charge of the order of service. Problem was they were the last to arrive at the funeral and the order of services were handed out to the seated congregation at the last moment. Funeral Directors are trained and have the experience and knowledge to avoid these types of errors. From a funeral directors point of view nothing can be left to the last minute to organize, as this is when errors occur.

The mortuary  is often a misunderstood and maligned area of understanding. Mortuary personal typically have spent more than two years in training before gaining their qualification. Sadly, in Australia most funeral homes operate without any formal mortuary training what so ever. The work of an embalmer is rarely known and although at times can be unpleasant, the skilled practitioners takes great solace in the knowledge that their work is invaluable in helping families work their way through the grieve process.

So while families may wish to be involved in some of the preparations before a funeral many tasks are often best left to the funeral director to avoid unnecessary errors or mistakes. How, do I find out how I can help, just ask your funeral director, they should work with you to accommodate your wishes.

Sadly in recent times with the increase in price conscious clients some funeral homes offer little in the way of experienced, knowledgable and proficient staff. Only recently I was told of one funeral home offering cash incentives for the celebrants to do everything from collection of the deceased to documentation, bookings and

assisting at the funeral itself. This type of funeral model rings alarm bells and it should with you to.  So when your select a funeral director, ensure they have the skill, knowledge, expertise and qualifications to look after you.

Robert Nelson is managing director of Robert Nelson Funerals. Based in Melbourne, he is a fifth generation funeral director with over three decades of experience. A qualified Embalmer and member of the British Institute of embalmers, Past President of The Australian Funeral Directors Association (Victorian Division), past deputy chairman Australian Institute of Embalmers, he has travelled and studied extensively throughout the world in numerous disciplines.

A New Year, Time To Start Planning

On New Years eve many people make a resolution, yet while it is a common tradition some reports claim only 8% of these resolutions are ever kept. Yet, whilst it is easy to get caught up in the frivolities of the occasion, the new year provides a great opportunity to plan the year ahead.

We plan, with insurance for our cars, our house and often our life. We organise wills, superannuation and financial planning. Although, pre planning your funeral is probably not on the top of your list, it is worth considering why it may be for some.

Pre planning or pre paying for your funeral is not a new concept and has been in Australia for the best part of a century in various forms. In more recent years we have been flooded on morning TV with funeral insurance and the so called benefits of it. However, Funeral Directors generally don’t regard this as funeral pre planning as the funeral is never actually pre planned and paid for.

Funeral pre planning typically involves sitting down with your funeral director and working through all the items and services you would want for your funeral. This way the client can ensure the burial or cremation services are meaningful, appropriate and affordable to their unique needs.

Seniors using digital tablet
Pre Planning is simple

The funeral is costed at todays price and paid for. Cemetery or crematorium fees may be pre paid directly with the cemetery or crematorium and can be organised by your funeral director or paid direct. The balance of the funeral funds are invested in a funeral bond in the clients name and assigned to the funeral director on the death of this person. This way the funds are secured, held at arms length from the funeral director and capital guaranteed.

The funeral director will issue a contract showing all the goods and services pre paid and the monies paid.

So why would you consider pre planing your funeral?

For many its simply a matter of “Peace of Mind” . So that your family is not burdened with the expense and not knowing your wishes at the time of your death. Robert Nelson, from Robert Nelson Funerals says “that for many pre planning your funeral is about planning for the future so that people can get on and live their life, knowing all their affairs are in order.”

Mature surfer ready to catch a wave
Planning ahead means you can get on with life knowing all your affairs are in order

For others it may be because of some of the financial benefits of pre paying your funeral. On 1 January 2017 the Australian Government implemented changes to the assets test used to calculate pensions. Investments of up to $13,000 (current threshold for the 2018-19 financial year) in a funeral bond such as the Bendigo Funeral Bond, are exempt from Centrelink and the Department of Veterans’ Affairs income and assets tests. For more information on these changes to the pension assets test, you should contact Centrelink, Department of Veterans Affairs or your Financial Adviser.

So what does it mean when your funds are capital guaranteed?

It mean your original and subsequent net investments plus declared bonuses are guaranteed upon your death.

Finally, once paid you have nothing more to pay at the time of death for your funeral. The  funeral directors contract provides a guarantee that your original investment will cover the cost of the funeral into the future.

So if its “peace of mind”, getting your finances in order or it seems just the right thing to do at this time, call Robert Nelson Funerals and discuss your requirements.

 

 

Funerals By The Bay

“I have lived my whole life near the water, swam surfed, sailed. It’s where I met my wife, we even got married on the beach. The water and the beach mean a great deal to many people and are often very much part of our lives.” Robert Nelson – Managing Director, Robert Nelson Funerals

As larger number of families now seek more meaningful and relevant ways to farewell their loved ones, we have seen an in increase in alternate funeral venues.

Across Melbourne, Funerals are now being held in , parks, gardens, beaches, golf, bowls, and yacht clubs, reception venue, vineyards, restaurants and the list keeps growing. Increasingly larger numbers of venues are finding families, not only want the wake or refreshment services at their location, but also have the entire funeral, to save mourners having to drive to a different locations across the city.

With this in mind Robert Nelson Funerals has introduced “Funerals by the Bay”, Funerals that are held in bayside locations around Port Phillip  Bay. Most locations have sweeping views across the Bay with sand only meters away. Robert Says “typically families that have an association with the water choose the Funerals By The Bay Option”. Whether it be sailing fishing or generally loving the water, these are the types of people that choose these locations for funerals, memorial services or wakes.

_DSC4490-Edit_2800North 2“Funerals By the Bay” by Robert Nelson Funerals at Sandringham Yacht Club provide families with a complete funeral service package, with options that include not only all vital aspects of the funeral service, including, the coffin, cremation fees, certificate fees, funeral director fees, etc, but also venue hire, catering and audio visual all in one complete price option. If its a memorial service (no coffin present) or the wake after the funeral service, Sandringham Yacht Club provides a wonderful choice.

Robert says people are often surprised at how reasonable the costs are to have the services in these locations.

It’s not only members of the club that can have their funeral at the yacht club, but non members are also welcome to have their final send off at this beautiful club too. The club has extensive food and beverage options for the gathering at the conclusion of the funeral service.

Some families also choose to have their loved ones cremated remains scattered at sea and this can be arranged also.

If you have attachments to other bayside areas in Melbourne and the Mornington Peninsula talk to us about Funerals by the Bay at Mornington, Port Melbourne, Brighton, Parkdale, Williamstown, Altona, and St.Kilda