So you want to be a funeral director?

I this your next funeral Director

“Hello Robert, and what is you do?”

“I am a funeral director”

“A film director that’s great!”

That is often the comment I get when introducing myself to new people. It hasn’t escaped me that people seem to think a film director is possibly more common than a funeral director. Indeed many people have never met a funeral director. Given this, it is hardly surprising few people know the reality of who we are and what we do. It is not as if death and dying is a hot topic of conversation around most dinner tables at night.

Death and dark humour are often funny at least while they don’t affect you, but when its personal or you have recently experienced loss its becomes a rather different matter. A funeral director constantly walks that fine line, often the butt of humour, but knowingly aware of the reality they see on a daily basis. While many may laugh there will often be people in the room that just don’t see that funny side, as its just too raw.

We all have our vision of what we perceive to be a funeral director. Dark colours, typically black, black suit, black vehicles and so on. These stem from the Edwardian era of the early 1900s, yet still remain the benchmark for many funeral directors throughout the world today, with top hats or black coats, still common in many place’s. Odd, when we stop to think about it, I thought we now celebrate lives?

Edwardian man in long black coat and hat holding cane.

I remember my mum having bumper stickers printed, “Have you hugged your funeral director today” something she did everyday, for others it made them think. Maybe we are just your average people, performing an an extra ordinary job.

With such a stereotype of what a funeral director is or should be, it’s possibly no wonder that our profession is not on top of, or even on the page of potential occupations when leaving school.

So when your son or daughter says, “mum, I want to be a funeral director” where do they begin ?

You would be forgiven for thinking that those wanting to enter the funeral industry are older people, typically men. The greatest number enquiries we receive are from young under eighteen year old women. The majority of these wish to work in body preparation with deceased in the mortuary. Maybe many of the forensic tv crime shows have something to answer for this.

There is good argument that before you enter the funeral industry you should have some life experience and despite what people think we do, a funeral directors role is mostly working with the living. Indeed, one of the first questions you should ask yourself is what what will I be doing on a day to day basis if I am successful in getting role in the funeral industry? When I ask candidate this most have no idea! “Help people,” “well yes, but the sandwich shop lady also helps me with my lunch”. What is we really do?

The best way for a budding funeral director to find this out is to go and talk to a funeral director and ask them what they do on a daily basis, long before you ever front for an interview. A funeral directors role will vary considerably, based on the size of the company they work for. Most larger business will have specified tasks assigned to staff. Some may only work in the mortuary, while others may just perform deceased transfers from hospitals , homes, aged care and coroners. Yet, others may assist at funerals or work with families making funeral arrangements or a combination both. There are funeral coordinators who manage logistics of all vehicles, staff and deceased.

removing ppe in the mortuary
Removing PPE in the mortuary

In a small funeral home you may be all of these things and more.

New recruits are often surprised as to how much cleaning is involved. There is nothing that is not cleaned on a daily basis, inclduing vehicles, equipment, premises or yourself, getting ready to meet the public. Many potential recruits will often say they are prepared to do this, to start at the bottom. But, this is the daily life of a funeral director and those not prepared to do this long term will become quickly bored.

I would love to say people only die between 9am – 5pm Monday to Friday, but this is not, and will never be the case. Most funeral homes require staff to work some after hours component. These could be 24 hour on call transfer crew, after hours funeral arranger or coordinator , taking phone calls around the clock or attending evening Rosary, viewing or prayer services. A clear drug and alcohol clear mind is essential to perform these functions, so if you are a party animal, maybe this industry is not for you.

You should be of good health and be able to lift and carry. This will be required, on transfers, funerals, and at cemeteries.

By now, you have visited your local funeral home, spoke with the staff, read my article and still haven’t been turned off.

There are few courses you can do to enter the funeral inductor and of those that do exist often require you to be employed in the funeral industry.

A full motor vehicle licence is essentials you will be required to drive motor vehicles. Some these vehicles may be worth many hundreds of thousands of dollars and once damaged a replacement cannot be hired from the local car rental company, so a good driving history is important

Mortuary and Funeral Educators (MFE) along with Funeral Industry Development Australia (FIDA) are both based in Melbourne and both teach Certificate IV courses in Mortuary Science Embalming. MFE is currently developing an online module in infection control for general funeral staff

There are registered courses in funeral operations and funeral services, yet few Registered Training Organisations (RTO) would seem to teach them and even fewer business requiring them as an entry to work.

Our profession works with grieving families and special skills are required in understanding grief and loss, “The Grief Centre” offers online and training for funeral professionals in Australia and New Zealand.

Still want to be a funeral director?

Robert Nelson Funerals Partners with The Grief Centre

Grief and bereavement support at Robert nelson Funerals
As funeral directors, we know when someone close to you dies your life can change in many ways. Grieving is our way of adjusting to some of these changes. Grief is a natural response in our lives. There is no right or wrong way and men and women will grieve in different ways often finding it difficult to understand or support each other. People of different ages and cultures also have different ways of grieving. Some things you might feel when grieving:

shocked or numb

angry

relived

depressed or lonely

resentful

guilty

confused and forgetful

overwhelmed

frightened and panicky

Many people feel grief in their bodies as well, especially in the first few weeks following a death.  You may feel exhausted, cold tense and shaky. You might even find it hard to sleep or feel sick and have trouble eating. These things are common reactions to grief and may require a chat with your local doctor At Robert Nelson Funerals we recognise people deal with grief in different ways and after loss people will take their own time to deal with that loss.  There will be good days and bad days. While there are no hard or fast rules that you must follow there are things that you can do that may help you. That is why Robert Nelson and the Grief Centre provides you with a support person that can assist you at this time, a listening ear perhaps, or information, support or resources that could prove useful. Bereavement support is a complimentary service offered to families cared for by Robert Nelson Funerals and provided on our behalf by The Grief Centre. One complimentary counselling session is provided for all of our clients.   partnering with Robert Nelson Funerals

Professional Funeral Director What Does it mean? Part 1

Proper Structured Funeral Training a key to

In an age where almost everything is regulated, it would appear at odds that the Victorian funeral industry is almost devoid of any significant regulation, licensing or training. 

For as long as I can ever remember, there have been industry calls for regulation., I have sat on boards that have called themselves professionals and in one case likened themselves to chartered accountants. The differences between the two could not be more startling. 

For most entering the funeral industry, there is no formal or structured training. On the job learning starts from day one. Some funeral directors believe that throwing prospective employees into the “deep end” will determine if they are a suitable candidate. This may include taking them on deceased collections transfers, introduction into a mortuary and potentially witnessing autopsies, often within their first few hours of stepping foot into their premises! It’s hardly surprising some don’t last until morning tea.

Historically funeral directors, or undertakers as we were known, were cabinet makers, they made their own coffins, collected and prepared the deceased and carried out the funeral. They were real family affairs where the men would perform the day-to-day functions in the funeral parlour, but when they went out their wives attended to “walk ins” (families coming into the funeral home to advise of a death without telephoning first). Funeral directors lived on their premises and it was 24 hours, 7 day a week affair. Children of the funeral directors also lived in the funeral home. Many would grow up to take the reins of their parents. Learning was from a young age and children were instructed in how to behave and where they could and could not go within the funeral home. As a fifth generation funeral director this is how it was for me and my father before me and his father as well. For each generation we were bought up with a clear understanding of care, compassion and respect. 

During the 1960s and 70s most funeral homes were no longer making their own coffins as these were being made by industry-specific manufacturers which continues to this day. Funeral Directors (as is now the preferred name) came to concentrate on the delivery of the funeral service itself. Many funeral homes up to this point had been regarded as either Catholic or Protestant funeral homes. Towns would typically have 2 funeral directors and they would generally look after one of the two major religions. This era also provided another fundamental change to this dynamic, ‘Immigration’. As with many other facets of Australian culture, the immigrants bought a wealth of new customs and traditions to our shores. Funeral directors had to adapt and learn these customs overnight. With it bought the obvious rationale that funeral homes were capable of dealing with all faiths, customs and traditions.

Throughout the 60s and 70s, we began to see many family-owned funeral homes that either had no children or indeed children that did not want to continue in the family business. Many of these small businesses began to be absorbed by larger families, sometimes the names were changed. Many of these old names still exist but may be under an ASX listed company ownership with no connection to its former owners.

Traditional funeral directors would train staff in traditional ways. A funeral crew would be made up of: 

1. Conductor

2. Hearse driver

3. Coach driver. 

The most experienced staff would be the conductor; typically, this person had many years of experience and on-the-job training and mentoring before reaching this role. The hearse driver, normally the newest person, would work alongside the conductor, receiving constant instruction and mentorship. They may be in this role for several years as they learnt all aspects of the funeral industry. The coach driver has already been through this mentorship and now had greater responsibilities in collecting families and getting them to the funeral venue on time and returning them home. The next step up for them will be to a conductor.

While training was on the job wasn’t quick, funeral staff had plenty of opportunities to practice and learn from experienced knowledgeable staff with many years of learning. These funeral crews would typically work together for many years and become adept at intuitively knowing how to work together.

Funeral staff were required to work their fair share of after-hours and on-call work. This may be funeral transfers (collection of deceased from aged care, private homes, hospitals, etc). Many funeral homes also had contracts to provide coronial transfers for reportable deaths, such as murder, suicide, road trauma etc. The work would be interesting as you would not know where your next job may take you. Some funeral director assistants would struggle with these often difficult tasks. There was no debriefing or counselling provided or available at this time.

Skilled and experienced staff may also be funeral arrangers; these were the staff that would meet with families to organise funerals. As well as a thorough understanding of the operational and practical aspects of organising a funeral, a funeral arranger is required to complete the statutory and required documentation for a funeral.

The only documented and structured training was reserved for embalmers. Although there have been numerous iterations of embalming training in Australia, early embalmers did their theory and exams via correspondence and their practical case studies with local mentors and examiners. Most would take about two years to complete their studies. In Melbourne, there were only a handful of funeral homes that placed a high priority on embalmer training and education. Most did not, and many did not have trained embalming staff, and this is still the case today.

With the advent of HIV/AIDS we saw a dramatic and cohesive interest and effort in training for Infection Control practices and procedures. In collaboration with the Health Department Victoria, The Australian Funeral Directors Association and the Union movement, the industry was finally able to construct structured guidelines that were both valuable and worthwhile for all those concerned. The early courses ran for two days, addressing the stigmas of HIV/AIDs and the practical considerations of universal barrier precautions and personal protective equipment.

While early courses were well attended, interest wained and it wasn’t long before funeral homes were calling for the course to be shortened, so staff didn’t have to be away so long (2 days). Indeed, the course is now non-existent. A travesty at best and irresponsible to say the least! This strikes at the heart of an industry trying to obtain potential regulation or licensing. The inability of funeral directors to place a high priority on training or education of their workforce in funeral service.

In the early 1980s, the Australian Funeral Directors Association ran a number of 2 week live-in Funeral Management Schools, for skilled professionals to upgrade their management skills in funeral service. These have also gone by the wayside.

To read more and look at some potential solutions please read part 2 in next months blog

Planning Ahead

For some it seems incongruous that planning ahead may include the planning of a funeral. Most plans we make throughout our life deal with growth and enjoyable, things and the list is endless and variable for each one of us.

As we leave school, it becomes necessary to begin planning for many things, tertiary education, work, buying our first car, housing, marriage, children, work, etc.

In our later years, planning is still necessary; health often plays an important role in this. Retirement and what we are going to do in our retirement, maybe downsizing the family home, downsizing the family car, vacations and so on.

We spend our life building and planning our superannuation for retirement, for many this includes an adjustment to Wills, selection of power of attorneys and executors. For some it will mean moving into retirement style accommodation for others it will lead to aged nursing care.

As people being to get all their affairs in order many will consider pre planning their funeral. It may be as simple as letting family know what their wishes are for others it will involve pre paying and organising their entire funeral.

Discussions can be an uncomfortable time for some families as they begin to face their own mortality and indeed some will not wish to talk about it at all. Robert Nelson, says”it surprising how many families do not know if their parent had a preference for either burial or cremation when they die, it would seem they just never had that discussion”. Still, many elderly organise their funerals to avoid their children having to be burdened with the cost and organisation at the time of their death. This “Peace of Mind” is one of the main driving factors in those Pre Planning their funeral.

So what are the other reasons to pre plan?

Peace of Mind

Centrelink Benefits

Secure Investments

Tax and Pension Benefits

Fixed Cost

Although there are various ways in which people choose to manage pre-paid funerals, many funeral directors use and recommend funeral bonds. Australian Friendly Societies, Bendigo Bank Funeral Bond, is capital guaranteed, this ensures that any initial investment and subsequent contributions, plus declared bonuses are guaranteed upon death. Along with ownership options that allow individuals or couples to take out single bonds. There are also flexible payment options to allow individuals to pay off their funeral bond by instalments.

Before a customers signs a pre-paid funeral contract, the funeral director discusses in writing where and how your money is invested, this is normally in the form a disclosure document, that lists all terms and cognitions that apply to your investment. It will list any fees payable.

Once you agree to your fixed price funeral, your funeral director must also issue a pre-paid funeral contract that lists the goods and services to be provided and supplied. It also details the total cost.

When your funeral is pre paid, you will receive a Pre Paid Funeral Contract from your funeral director and the investment bond from Australian Friendly Society.

The Investment is held in your name and assigned to the funeral director only on death. This means that if the funeral director is no longer in business your investment is still secure.

So what if you don’t wish to pre-pay your funeral but still wish to organise it in advance? Many people still pre-arrange their funeral plan and talk to their funeral director and leave their funeral wishes on file with their funeral home.

Finally the best advise is to always keep your family or next of kin advised of what plans you have made.

Should you wish to find out more about planning ahead, please do not hesitate to call us upon Ph. (03) 9532 2111 or visit our web site https://robertnelsonfunerals.com.au/pre-paid

The A – Z Guide Of CREMATION

Hindu Holy Man

My forebearers were involved in some of the early cremations on the cremation pyres of the Ballarat goldfields in the 1800s. Much has changed in the way we cremate and societies views on it.

Today, cremation accounts for almost 60% of all disposition in Victoria (Births Death Marriages Victoria July 2020 – September 2020). With so many people choosing cremation over burial, How much do we really know what happens behind the scenes?

In Victoria, all crematoriums must be on cemetery land, and all cemeteries are on crown land, so unlike other states and other countries, Victoria does not have private crematoria. In states and countries that do have private cremation, there is a significant difference in fees. In the report commissioned by the Victorian Government “Victorian Cremation Industry Viability” by Marsden Jacob Associates 2004, “the cremation price is a small proportion of the overall cost to the bereaved and is unlikely to affect the burial/cremation decision. The bereaved are generally more concerned with the total package price.” This would seem to contradict what has occurred to fees in a market where private operators exist.

With an increasing number of funeral operators offering low cost , direct or unattended services the cremation cost can account for more than 50% of the overall fees.

So how do these private crematorium function?

In most place throughout the world, the crematorium is located in the rear of the funeral home and operated by the funeral director, Fees can be up to 50% lower than those currently charged by public crematoria.

How do most people see cremation?

People on a regular basis tell me how they have been into the crematorium and witnessed the cremation. While this is possible most mourners will only get as close as the crematorium chapel. Most crematoria in Victoria have chapels and function areas that are separate from the crematorium. Mourners will normally attend the chapel for the service and at the conclusion, the funeral the coffin turn from view or is lowered out of sight. Some cremators are located directly behind the chapels. The coffin is removed from the catafalque (the lowering device) and will await cremation. In other instance, the coffin is loaded into a vehicle and transported a few hundred metres to the crematorium building. the cremation may occur immediately but in some case will occur the following day.

Witnessing Cremation

With an increasing number of Hindu, Sikh and Buddhist families in Melbourne, the cultural requirement to witness the cremation has increased and more families are requesting this option. Don’t be surprised, that the crematorium charges a fee for families to witness the cremation of their loved one.

In many countries that our new Australians come from, the service would often be held in front of the cremation chamber. In Melbourne, small numbers of the family either watch the cremation on a video screen in an adjoining room or witness the coffin entering the cremator behind a glass window. The process for families is quick. The coffin is loaded onto a special device that will discharge the coffin into the cremator. The doors of the cremators remain closed until that family is ready. Once settled, the family will indicate to the cremation operator to proceed. The door slides up and the coffin is quickly injected into the cremator. The door is quickly closed. Families will leave after this. The whole process may take less than a minute.

The cremation itself takes 1-2 hours.

Ashes or cremated remains

The terms ashes tend to infer the cremated remains are like cinder, very light and like powder, however, most people are surprised when the cremated remains are returned. Ashes are skeletal remains and the average cremated remains urn will weigh approximately 3kg. Typically remains will be ready for collection within 48 hours after cremation.

Is the coffin cremated or reused?

Absolutely not. The coffin as you see it is not opened once entered the crematorium building.

Do I need to use a coffin at all for cremation?

While some crematorium now accepts non-coffin cremation the deceased still needs to enter the crematorium in a sealed container and be on a solid base. The body is usually wrapped in a cotton shrouds similar to the way Muslims would bury their loved ones and secured to a plantation pine cremation bearer. Some feel this is a good environmental option.

No Coffin Cremation using a cremation bearer

What can I place in the coffin?

Unlike burial, there are restrictions what you can place in a coffin for cremation. Batteries are definitely not to be included (due to the possibility of explosions) and the funeral director will sign a declaration that any pacemakers have been removed. Excessive plastics should be avoided and bottles are now on the band list due to effect they can have on cremated remains. Bodies can be dressed as normal.

Can I use a cardboard coffin?

Yes, there is special cardboard coffins known as Bio board.

You can learn more about the bio board here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SwA4pp9vLTQ&t=1s

Do I need to have a service with the cremation?

No, many people are choosing to have a direct or unattended cremation. The body and coffin are taken directly to the crematorium without anyone attending. Many families choose to have some other celebration of life event, from a very private personal scattering of cremated remains in meaningful locations with a few people, to large elaborate and often noisy lunches. There are no rights and wrongs when it comes to celebrating a life, just relevant and meaningful events. So the choices are all yours to make

Can we seperate cremated remains for different members of our family?

Yes, just ask your funeral director and he will arrange this for you.

Cremation Urns, Jewellery, Scattering tubes

There is a large range of options open to families to choose from in deciding with what to do with cremated remains. There are literally thousands of different types of cremation urns, made from every conceivable material. From mass produced urns to individual handcrafted works of art, environmental and bio degradable urns are also available. Cremation jewellery varies from small metal pendants that can be place on a necklace to Diamonds made from cremated remains and Italian glass infused with remains all made into beautiful jewellery.

Robert Nelson is a 5th generation funeral director and is Managing Director of Robert Nelson Funerals, based in Moorabbin, Victoria, Australia. Should you have any questions about cremation please do not hesitate to contact me. (03) 9532 2111,

Re Purpose Coffins?

Last month I wrote about environmental options within the funeral service. This week I came across possibly one of the most sensible environmental options available and its been right in front of us all the time!

Coffin manufacturing has changed a great deal over the past century, I remember my grandfather making coffins from solid timber and without modern manufacturing techniques had to use hot water in order to bend the shoulders into coffins. Paper laminates, custom and particle board just didn’t exist. Polishing or finishing was applied often by hand, using traditional french polishing techniques.

In today’s coffin manufacturing environment, high tech is the way to go, with computerised cutting machines and a variety of timber variants available. Yet , whilst the manufacturing techniques may have changed, there is still waste from offcuts and damaged timbers or veneers that typically end up in a landfill.

Innovative family-owned Melbourne coffin manufacturer RH Minter has decided to do something about it. They are repurposing what was once waste into environmental low-cost affordable coffins. While these unpolished rectangular coffins, sometimes have different panels and are possible not for every family (in regard to traditional looks) they definitely lead the way in environmental repurposing.

IMG_4882

Managing Director of Robert Nelson Funerals, says “families now have a real alternative when considering environmental options and even better it locals that are doing it.”

“Compared to cardboard, that has to be manufactured, (often overseas) these timber offcuts are already in the local factory and would be shipped out for landfill if not reused.”

Robert Nelson Funerals are pleased to offer these environmental repurposed coffins as part of our standard range.

Call Robert Nelson Funerals for further information. Ph (03) 9532 2111