Ram

Ram

Grief is the response to loss, particularly to the loss of someone or some living thing that has died, to which a bond or affection was formed. Although conventionally focused on the emotional response to loss, grief also has physical, cognitive, behavioural, social, cultural, spiritual and philosophical dimensions.” Wikipedia

Ram was a 12 year old German Shepherd dog.

A few months ago I received a call from a client I had helped almost a year ago. They were Hindu and had followed strict Hindu customs and rituals for their relative with a funeral service in their home followed by witnessing the cremation.

During the call Marla, Rams owner described how their beloved German Shepherd was in his final stages of life. Ram had been part of the family and was as such treated as a member of the family. Marla wanted to ensure that when Ram passed he was given the same dignity, solemnity and ritual that they would afford any other member of their family.

The family wanted a special coffin made, just like for any person and wished to have a Hindu service from home.

Early one morning a week later I received the call that Ram was in pain and needed to be euthanised. It was not an easy choice, but given his pain, the decision had to be made.

I met the family at the local vet. Ram was surrounded by his beloved family as he quickly and peacefully slipped away. We hastily organised a specially made coffin for Ram, with full lining and handles and the next day met at the family home to afford Ram his last farewell and Hindu customs.

The service ran for almost an hour as the family meticulously went about ensuring Ram was given all the courtesy any family member would have been given. At the end of the service, they carefully closed his coffin and Ram was conveyed to the pet crematorium for cremation.

While this is a beautiful story of love and loss, it demonstrates how grief is not restricted to human loss. We all experience grief differently and sometimes it can be hard to understand or support each other. People of different ages and cultures will grieve in different ways. Many of us have experienced the loss of our pets and some wonder why we may grieve more for them than we did for close family members. There is no right and wrong in the way we grieve.

For those struggling to cope with grief there is help and support available.

Professional support can assist you in providing a listening ear and also provide support or other resources that may be useful to you at this time

Robert Nelson Funerals provides complimentary bereavement support to all its clients.

Families may also choose to contact The Grief Centre

www.griefcentre.com.au or phone 1300 270 479

Thank to Rams family for providing and allowing me to use these images.

Bariatric? Oversize? Now Supersize!

A person who is classed as being obese may be referred to as a bariatric patient when they have a body mass index (BMI) that is equal to or greater than 30. The term is also used in the medical field as somewhat of a euphemism to refer to people of larger sizes when requiring specific medical supplies such as larger hospital gowns, hospital beds or health care equipment.

The Funeral Industry generally uses the term “Oversize”

We have all seen the “Spaghetti Western” films where the town undertaker wanders out in the street with his tape measure after a shoot out. In the past, this was not too far from the truth, as the undertaker was also the carpenter that had to make the coffin. Getting the right size was important. Up until the 1970s, funeral directors may have carried a range of adult size coffins, in 2-inch increments from  5’6 to 6 Foot.

As coffin production moved into more automated volume-based production methods, the standard size soon became 6 foot (in the old language) and this is still the case today. Any person that is wider or longer than these standard coffins will require an oversize coffin. These are generally custom made and that is why there may be additional fees charged by the funeral director.

In recent decades the use of oversize coffins and caskets (coffin is wide at the shoulder, narrow at the feet, a casket is generally rectangular in shape) has increased exponentially as diets and other factors have resulted in a proliferation of obese and oversized people. Indeed in an increasing amount of instance, we are now dealing with super-sized people. It is not uncommon for the funeral now to be dealing with people between 200 – 400kg in body weight. This has bought a plethora of new problems for funeral service as indeed health and emergency services at large.

Deaths can occur anywhere, hospitals, aged care, residential homes, public places and funeral directors and coronial transfer crews have equipment and techniques designed to assist in the removal and transfer of the deceased from these locations into mortuary care. The equipment and techniques involved usually relate to standard size people or oversize.

“Supersize” the transfer of the deceased and nothing is normal. In some instances, removing the deceased from their home may entail removing walls to provide egress from the property. While some modern oversize mortuary stretchers have now been designed to hold the weight they simply cannot be used to hold the size of some in a safe way for transfer staff. With “Supersize” people large numbers of additional staff are often required to move them, this can often entail emergency service to assist.

“The weight of some clients is almost industrial and provides significant Occupational and Saftey Risks across the board”

Once transferred to mortuary things don’t remain simple, mortuary trolleys, preparation tables, lifting equipment are often not rated to these extreme weights, and fear of equipment failure is a real concern. For mortuary staff dressing, some of these deceased people can be quite hazardous.

Special Coffins are made and the deceased carefully placed in them, but many are not able to be cremated as cremation units have limited size entry requirements. Burial does not remain unscathed as families may be required to purchase 2 graves due to the width restraints of a single grave.

Burial requires a whole new set of procedures and regular coffin lowering devices just cannot deal with large loads. Hand Lowering is normally not an option due to potential gear failure and the safety of those about an open grave. In some recent cases specialist lifting cranes, capable of maneuvering the narrow paths between graves have been used to good effect. From an aesthetic point of view, it tends to make these graveside services very industrial but necessary.

Superize Burial
Big People, Big Equipment

Whatever word you choose to use bariatric, oversize, and or supersize, the problem in the funeral industry relating to manual handling continues to albeit “grow”.

Robert Nelson Funerals Partners with The Grief Centre

Grief and bereavement support at Robert nelson Funerals
As funeral directors, we know when someone close to you dies your life can change in many ways. Grieving is our way of adjusting to some of these changes. Grief is a natural response in our lives. There is no right or wrong way and men and women will grieve in different ways often finding it difficult to understand or support each other. People of different ages and cultures also have different ways of grieving. Some things you might feel when grieving:

shocked or numb

angry

relived

depressed or lonely

resentful

guilty

confused and forgetful

overwhelmed

frightened and panicky

Many people feel grief in their bodies as well, especially in the first few weeks following a death.  You may feel exhausted, cold tense and shaky. You might even find it hard to sleep or feel sick and have trouble eating. These things are common reactions to grief and may require a chat with your local doctor At Robert Nelson Funerals we recognise people deal with grief in different ways and after loss people will take their own time to deal with that loss.  There will be good days and bad days. While there are no hard or fast rules that you must follow there are things that you can do that may help you. That is why Robert Nelson and the Grief Centre provides you with a support person that can assist you at this time, a listening ear perhaps, or information, support or resources that could prove useful. Bereavement support is a complimentary service offered to families cared for by Robert Nelson Funerals and provided on our behalf by The Grief Centre. One complimentary counselling session is provided for all of our clients.   partnering with Robert Nelson Funerals